Don Johnson

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The Startup

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Broken promises, even small ones, cause problems. Things don’t get done, relationships break down, and trust erodes. And if you’re on the receiving end, you have a choice: Say nothing and let it slide, or call it out, hope it goes well, but risk an argument nobody wants. Either way, it’s stressful.

But it doesn’t have to be stressful when you learn to ask for what you want, elicit clear commitments, and hold people to account based on their word.

Here’s how it works.

Five frogs are on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many remain? Answer: Five. Just because they decide to jump doesn’t mean they’ll make the leap.

The same applies to us. People say they will do something, not realizing their word is their bond, and don’t follow through. This happens in the corporate world all the time. It also occurs in the living room, the kitchen, and the bedroom. And when it does, trust erodes, relationships fracture, and it’s not because someone lied. It’s because someone didn’t behave with integrity.

Integrity is a moral principle based on honesty and truthfulness of one’s actions. Doing what you say will do demonstrates integrity. Failing to do so signals you can’t be trusted to keep your word. You’re seen as unreliable. Who wants that?

In any relationship, business, or personal, we have trust deposits, like money in the bank. We add to the deposits, or we subtract from it according to our actions. If someone repeatedly withdraws from your trust account, and you let it keep it happening, that’s on you. If you don’t keep your word, that’s on you too. In either case, if left unattended, the strength of the relationship will weaken and breakdown.

Trust is the glue that keeps any relationship together, business or personal.

Most problems with broken promises occur because: